I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
