Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
