i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
