Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
