ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
