Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Can i not drive my cunt home
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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