We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
