home. puking in laundry basket.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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