Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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