Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
