whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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