i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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