thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
