just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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