Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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