i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
