But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
