this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
