Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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