i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
