oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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