O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
