They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
