I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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