Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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