How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
