I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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