Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
