I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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