White coat. Heels.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
