Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
