Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
