you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
