OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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