you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
