So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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