margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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