I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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