@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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