just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
3pm strippers are depressing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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