It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
