He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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