It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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