Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
