I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
