Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
