Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
