How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
