where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
