Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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