I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
