She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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